StinkBeGone: A Natsuki Crackfic
by Miggitdog
Summary: Wow...this is Crack-tastic! Natsuki has an advertising adventure! T for language.


I swear I wasn't high when writing this...just really hyper. The commercial, I came across while cleaning out my docs. I actually used it in a speech for my Speech class last year. I edited it slightly, so it would make sense, but mostly it's unchanged. The last thing I posted was an extremly angsty songfic, so I'm posting this insane crackfic to counter it. Enjoy my insane-ness.

Thenks to my beta AnimeJock who though it was really funny, and also thanks for letting me borrow the line "skanky brain". xD

* * *

Announcer: Do you smell bad? Really, really bad? Do you shower daily and wear deodorant? Do you still smell really bad? 

Girl: I used to, but that was before I started using Stink-Be-Gone! You simply hang Stink-Be-Gone around your neck, under your shirt and take a whiff! (sniffs) Mmmm!

Announcer: It now comes in three scents, Fresh Field, Winterberry, and New Car for road trips!

Girl: Now my friends don't have to stand 20 feet away! Thanks Stink-Be-Gone!

Announcer: Only $12.99 at your local Wal-Mart! Stink-Be-Gone. Remember, Stink-Be-Gone, No B.O!

-Warning Stink-Be-Gone may cause heart attack, skin cancer, lead poisoning, coma or death. Do not use Stink-Be-Gone if you have a history of catching colds-

The girl finished reading her script and scoffed. "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

"I most certainly am not," Takeda grinned, "You remember our bet, it's either; you do this, or marry me!"

Natsuki shuddered at the thought, and unanimously decided to do his stupid ad. It was unanimous because you need all votes for the same thing, and there being only one vote...got it?!

"But, once I get rich off this product, you'll surely want to have a piece of this!" He flexed his bicep.

Natsuki blanched and immediately ripped his stupid cap off his head in order to vomit in it.

"Hey!" Takeda cried as his favorite hat was ruined.

Natsuki wiped her mouth on the rim of the hat; then handed it back to him "Serves you right."

Takeda dumped the hat in the trash can next to him and sighed. "Whatever, lets just go do my ad,"

For weeks, Natsuki was surrounded by the ridiculous ad everywhere she went. She was thankful she rode a motorcycle because there was no chance of hearing the ad on the radio while she was traveling. But in stores and restaurants, it was all she heard. Even the radio at the barbers played it constantly.

Mai was no help, she thought it was hilarious, and though she tried to be sympathetic, Natsuki couldn't miss the glee bubbling under the surface.

And then there was Nao's contribution. Somehow the redhead had gotten a copy of the ad, and done several nasty things with it.

_Like setting my alarm to only play it, and blasting it through the campus speaker system during class. I'll get you for this, you Skanky Brained-_

Natsuki's train of thought was cut off when she bumped into someone. Books scattered, and she immediately bent down to pick them up. Once she had all of the persons books gathered up, she looked up.

The books clattered to the sidewalk once more, as Natsuki's jaw dropped open, wide. Seriously, it was like you could fit a whole double bacon cheeseburger in it.

Shizuru Fujino stood before her, her head tilted slightly, a small smile on her face.

"Ara, ara," Shizuru said her trademark; then giggled, "Natsuki-chan, fancy seeing you here."

"I-, I-" Natsuki was at a loss for words. Shizuru had been away at college, she hadn't been expecting to see the tea addict here.

Just then, the radio from the store behind them began blasting the ad. Natsuki turned a shade of neon red, never before seen.

Shizuru's eyes widened as she listened. Then she giggled.

"Does it really work, Natsuki-chan?"

Natsuki made a gurgling sound. She then proceeded to die (Shizuru glares bloody-murder at author)…er…faint…yes, Natsuki fainted.

* * *

When Natsuki awoke, it was to an odd smell. 

_What the-_

She cracked open an eye to find she was in her bed, and Shizuru was sitting in a chair in her room.

"What's that smell?" Natsuki wrinkled her nose.

"It's my new Stink-Be-Gone!" Shizuru cried happily. "I got Winterberry!"

Natsuki came out of the daydream screaming bloody murder.

"Natsuki! Calm down!" Takeda tried to quiet her, "People are looking!"

Natsuki stopped screaming.

_Was it all a dream?_

"As I was saying," Takeda continued, "It's a fair bet; if I win you have to help me advertise my new prod-"

"HELL NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Natsuki turned and fled the scene.

And Takeda died. Right there, for no apparent reason other than the fact that I wanted him dead, and am too lazy to kill him properly.

This is the end.

Bye bye!

Make sure to eat lots of Gouda!

Oh, and Shizuru and Natsuki end up living happily ever after and all that happy horse crap.


End file.
